I'm crying about you again.
Ok.
I'm crying and it sucks, because I've been doing ok. I've been coping better with life, lately.
But hearing that you fucked around with my friend, that hurts.
I mean, seriously. You could fuck around with what, 5 billion people, approx? And you chose the only one I introduced you to? My only friend that you knew?
How is that not personal?
Everyone wants me to react like a grownup.
Yeah. I can do that.
But here, alone, I'm crying again.
I don't even know why you can still hurt me. Why should I care? I guess I care because it feels like you're doing it on purpose to hurt me.
I don't usually get upset much.. most of the time I can understand people's actions, and if I can understand it, mostly it doesn't hurt.
But the only framework I have with which to process that, is that you're both trying to hurt me. Or at least, both deciding that hurting me wasn't as important as getting off.
Or that maybe I'm just this robot person, without feelings.
I wish I was.
I wish that this didn't hurt me. Again. I wish I could remove your power to hurt me. I thought I had.
I'd cut you out of my life as much as I could.
Everything that kills me.. just kills me.
